DIY Food Adventure: Slow Cooker Carnitas with Confetti Slaw

CrossFit Santa Cruz

My CrossFit gym is embarking on a new kind of challenge, simply cooking and preparing your own food called the DIY Food Adventure.

So starting today, I am going to try to cook/prepare all my food--which is certainly going to be a tough one when I am moving this coming weekend.  But trying is an important step--despite that annoying Yoda quote my husband always throws at me: "Do or do not; there is no try."  To me there is a try with the intention of doing--it just doesn't always make it.  And with food, the LAST thing you want to do is beat yourself up over every transgression from your ideal.  Live your life and try your best.  My parents used to never get mad at me if I screwed up a test or grade in school as long as I "tried my best."  And we all know when we have really "tried our best" and when we haven't.  

The Prep

Sunday was the mega grocery shopping trip, spending about $150 at New Leaf, our local, better version of Whole Foods.  That bought us a slew of produce (I missed the farmer's market this weekend) and a 7.43# slab of pork shoulder roast for carnitas.  We also have store-bought eggs that are best for hard-boiling (I've tried the fresh ones and they just aren't as easy to peel or hold together as the shelved varieties with a little more age on them).  Finally, we bought whole chickens to roast for lunches and dinner that night.

Hard-boiling method a la America's Test Kitchen:

• Place 6 store-bought eggs (omega-enriched and as close to farm as you can get them from the store--but trust me, store-bought is better than fresh for hard boiling) in a sauce pot filled with water to cover the eggs and sprinkled prodigiously with kosher salt. 
• Allow the water to come to a boil over high heat.
• When it is rapidly bubbling--meaning large bubbles breaking the surface, rolling-style--turn off the heat and remove the pot from the burner, cover, and let stand for 10 minutes (a little longer if you cook more eggs or a little less if you really lagged on catching that boil--we've all been there and heard the water splattering rather than the boiling bubbles).  
• While the eggs are finishing, get out a big bowl and fill it with ice and water and once your ten minutes are up, add the eggs using tongs (not your hands, silly) and let them cool off in their ice bath like you'd love to do post-WOD.  

Perfect eggs and NO sulfur smell.  Done in less than 30 minutes start to finish.  Store in the fridge.

Here is the Roasted Chicken recipe we used, from Thomas Keller, posted on epicurious: My Favorite Simple Roasted Chicken Recipe.  Although the photo above was taken after an overnight in the fridge, it hopefully still captures a little bit of that brown, crispy goodness from when it was pulled from the oven.  I can't believe how juicy and flavorful the meat is and how that salt really makes it delicious.  It is like a brined bird, but SO much easier.  Better than rotisserie.  And just about as simple as buying pre-made.  Seriously. 

We had some roasted chicken for dinner that night--couldn't resist it fresh and crispy--alongside steamed artichoke hearts dipped them in melted grass-fed butter.  Yum!

I also made a roasted red pepper and baby bok choy stir fry to have more veggies in the house--perhaps for dinner variety or lunches/snacks.  Here is the recipe I used (substituting grapeseed oil for olive oil and yellow bell peppers for red ones): Baby Bok Choy with Yellow Bell Peppers Recipe.

Slow Cooker Carnitas

Don't have time to spend 3-4hrs watching a pot of carnitas?  Here's the answer: slow cook it!  Sweet and as spicy as you want it, this versatile, delicious pulled pork is definitely a staple in this household.

Cooking Time: 6+ hours on Low in the slow cooker, 45 minutes or so on the stovetop to brown

Quantity: Never as much as you would love to have to last forever.

Ingredients:

• pork shoulder/butt--as big as you can handle and as untrimmed of fat as you can get.  I like to get as many meals as possible so 5# is a minimum.
• orange juice or any juice--we've tried a bunch with success (the small ~15oz bottles do well)
• salt
• pepper
• garlic (cloves or powder)
• spices to taste (ex. cumin, cayenne, you name it!)

Method:

First, pour the orange juice into the slow cooker pot and add your salt, pepper, garlic, and spices.  Swirl to dissolve and distribute.  

Then, cut the pork shoulder into fist-sized hunks. DO NOT trim it of its fat--you need it for frying.  Add the hunks to the pot and then toss them in the OJ mixture to coat each one.  Next, mash them down into the juice and set your pot a-cooking: Low for 6 hours or so--we've done less for smaller batches and more for larger ones.  You just want to make sure it is fall-apart tender, but you are going to still cook it more, so it doesn't have to be a 12-hour affair.  

Once it's done with the slow cookin', it's on to stage 2: the fryin'.  Dump the contents of the slow cooker pot into a huge stove-top pot (like a stock pot--NOT non-stick) and heat on the higher side of medium high--like 8 out of 10.  It'll boil away for about 30 minutes or so depending on the quantity of meat and liquid until it starts to stick and that is when the fun begins.  Start your scrapping as soon as it starts a-stickin'.  A strong spatula (read: metal, NOT plastic) works wonders.  Come back often to re-scrape until the liquid is basically completely gone and you feel like it is just going to burn or dry out if you leave it in there much longer.  

Then, if you have a ton of fat in the pot still (this used to happen to us, but hasn't in a long time--probably because the butcher still partially trims off some fat despite my efforts), you can drain the meat before storing and keep that fat for a butter substitute.  If you don't have much liquid, just dump the meat and juices into a storage container.  It'll last for a week in the fridge, but ours never stays around that long :)  

Serve with Confetti Slaw (below), salsas, guacamole or just avocado, on lettuce leaves as tacos, in eggs, or however you want to enjoy that unbelievably delicious porky goodness.

Confetti Slaw

A beautiful symphony of flavors, texture, and crunch!  Basically a play on the Crunchy Slaw I made for my Hearty Paleo-Zone Chili, this slaw is more finely diced for ease of incorporating with the meat and being picked up by utensils.  It is a great way to add some veg without it overpowering the dish.

Prep Time: 15 minutes or less

Quantity: a truckload

Ingredients:

• head of green cabbage
• head of red cabbage
• bunch of cilantro
• 3 or so limes

Method:

Remove damaged outer leaves from the cabbages and any wilted, brown/black cilantro leaves.  Cut the cabbages into hunks and salad spin them to rinse.  Add them back into the salad spinner bowl once you rinse it out (the outer one, not the colander) for storage and assembly of the slaw (yes, it makes that much!).  

In small batches, food process the cabbage into a dice.  This takes patience not to over-stuff the food processor and have to fish out large chunks when you upend it into the bowl.  Not fun.  If you move fast, the multiple batches won't be too annoying.  It beats trying to hand-chop every piece down to a dice.  Believe me, I've tried and made a mess.  

Once the cabbage is done, rinse the cilantro, remove any woodier stem sections, and food process that too.  Add it to the bowl.  

Finally, roll the limes on the counter to release some juices, then cut and juice (it pays to have a citrus juicer).  Add the juice to the bowl and stir it up.  Taste and add more limes if you have them (or lemon juice can substitute).  I would wait to salt it until serving your portion because I have ruined a whole batch with over salting before--I think the citrus can accentuate it.  Add any other flavors you desire.  The Confetti Slaw should add a gorgeous splash of color and a nice lime scented crunch to your dish.  Load it up on the carnitas for a great meal!

Let me know how you like to serve your carnitas and if you've tried my recipe!

Heirloom Tomato Soup

Heirloom Tomato Soup

Even though tomatoes are a summer treat, tomato soup brings back memories of cool weather foods that warm me inside and out.  I remember dunking soup crackers into tomato soup and trying to eat them while they still had some crunch, before they became piles of sludge at the bottom of the bowl.

After I changed my diet, I haven't really missed soup crackers, but I have missed the soup.  In my past life, before I clogged up the supermarket aisle inspecting labels, I might not have even thought twice about something called "tomato soup"--I mean, it's just tomatoes right?  Wrong.  Here is the ingredient list for Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup:

Ingredients: Tomato Puree (Water, Tomato Paste), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Wheat Flour, Water, Salt, Potassium Chloride, Flavoring, Citric Acid, Lower Sodium Natural Sea Salt, Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C), Monopotassium Phosphate.

Call me an idiot, but I could NOT find the ingredient list on Campbell's website without some serious digging. While their Australian website had products with ingredient lists readily available, their American site only includes Nutrition Facts, not ingredients when you searched by product.  Nice.  After a search for "tomato soup ingredient list," half-way down the page, buried in a Schedule A pdf of all their soups, I found it.  But since it's a pdf, I couldn't copy and paste it.  So I had to use their "shop" online link to find the product there.  Can you say NOT so user-friendly...

We're sorry, there were no results that matched you're search term: ingredient list 

Not being forthcoming usually means you have something to hide--perhaps like that high fructose corn syrup, wheat, and "flavoring"?  And seriously--ADDED sugar?  To a soup?  To a soup already sweetened with one of the sweetest vegetables/fruits: tomatoes?  Um....  This sounds exactly like what Dr. Lustig was saying when he called foul on companies for pumping their products full of fructose to get people to eat more.  Remember, fructose by-passes the metabolic hunger turn-off switch, so you want more and more and more...and guess where all that excess goes?  Hint: it's bulking you up but unfortunately not your muscles!

Finally, the can is also part of the problem.  Not only does it denote a processed product we are trying to oust from our diet for a more "real food, slow food" lifestyle, but it also contains BPA, which according to Consumer Reports is in the cans (even some that say it isn't) and has been linked to:

infertility, weight gain, behavioral changes, early onset puberty, prostate and breast cancers and diabetes.

Mark's Daily Apple has a great doomsday post on that issue if you'd like more information.

Okay, so enough with the ranting over the sorry state of nutrition affairs. Now it's on to recreating all the wholesome goodness that I thought I could find in a canned vegetable soup, but I was clearly mistaken.

You Don't Need Soup from a Can

The cool thing is that my recipe is dead simple and freaking' delicious.  It is just as easy as reheating from a can and is a gazillion times better for you.  It hits the spot for a warm (or chilled) bowl of flavorful tomato soup.  All you need are heirloom tomatoes and some spices.  No wheat, sugar, oils, or "flavoring." The tomatoes themselves provide all the liquid you need.  It's like magic!

Why Heirloom Tomatoes?

The heirloom tomato part is important to get sweet, flavor-bursting tomatoes AND to support the alternative agricultural traditions that produce these not-so-mass-produced vegetable/fruits.  From the article: Why Heirloom Seeds & Veggies Matter on Robb Wolf's website, I learned a bit more about heirloom plants:

• Heirloom varieties are pollinated via insects and the wind and gardeners have chosen seeds to plant from those with the most favorable traits, usually taste and hardiness for their climate--usually passed down from 50-100 years. 
• This is opposed to mass-produced vegetables that are either uniform hybrids from carefully controlled artificial selection pairings or genetic modification, which is a whole 'nother cup of tea. 
• You can save the seeds from heirlooms and plant them to start your own gardening process. 
• Unlike hybrids, heirlooms ripen at different times and take on their own unique characteristics, adapting to your tastes and environment if you only choose to plant the seeds from plants that perform best. 

Unfortunately, while I DID by heirloom tomatoes for a pretty penny, they were not locally sourced and I feel bad about it.  I just really wanted to enjoy my soup for that taste of summer to come.  I suggest that if you can, buy local heirlooms and save some seeds to start your own garden. 

What about Nightshades?

Nightshades are inflammatory plants, so those with autoimmune disorders or sensitivities to inflammatory foods try to stay away from them.  Nightshades include potatoes, tomatoes, eggplants, and peppers.  Since I have had issues with inflammation, I used to be deathly afraid of eating any of those except in moderation, like every once-in-a-blue-moon frequency.  However, Dr. Loren Cordain, author of The Paleo Diet, discussed the issue in his newsletter.  Here are his insights:

The primary tomato saponin which causes a leaky gut is the glycoalkaloid, α-tomatine. Table 4 below shows the concentration of α-tomatine in a variety of tomatoes and tomato food products. Note that smaller and unripe tomatoes have noticeably increased concentrations of α-tomatine, whereas this compound is barely detectable in a standard ripe, red tomato.

The referenced table shows the highest concentration amongst unripe, small green tomatoes (548mg/kg) and remarkably reduced concentrations amongst edible tomatoes: 2.7mg/kg for red cherry tomatoes, 1.1mg/kg for large yellow tomatoes, 0.9mg/kg for ripe red beefsteaks, and 0.3 for standard red ripe ones.  Heirlooms weren't on the list, but I can imagine they are in the ripe range.  While their low concentration of this saponin is good news, the bad news is that there are also lectins to worry about:

In addition to α-tomatine, tomatoes contain another anti-nutrient called tomato lectin (TL) which rapidly crosses the gut barrier and enters into the bloodstream in humans. The concentration of TL in tomatoes and tomato products is between 3.0 – 6.0 mg/kg.

He goes on to scare the crap out of me with his description of how these nasties lead to a leaky gut, but fortunately he ends on a high note:

However, because ripe red tomatoes have such low concentrations of α-tomatine, and because they are rich sources of vitamins, minerals and other healthful nutrients, only people with an autoimmune disease or allergies should consider limiting their fresh ripe tomato intake. 

Yay!  So while I still won't make tomatoes an everyday menu item, I also won't shy away from them when I'm beckoned by their dazzling, jewel-like colors perched so temptingly along the produce aisle.  

Without further ado, here is the recipe!

Heirloom Tomato Soup

Super easy and super delicious tomato soup perfect warm or chilled.

Cooking time: about 15 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 large or 2 medium ripe heirloom tomatoes (soft to the touch) for each diner
• spices of your choice, such as:
• dried or fresh basil
• dried or fresh thyme
• dried or fresh rosemary
• dried red pepper flakes
• salt 
• pepper

Method:

Cut your heirlooms in half and place them cut side up on a baking sheet or broiler pan (you don't want to put the tomatoes directly on racks because they'll spill).  You could probably season them now, but herbs will just burn, so you can salt and pepper now and hold off on the herbs until they reach the bowl.  Broil or even grill until you see the tops start to crisp up a little and the flesh is softened.  This can take up to 15 minutes, depending upon your oven and how long it takes to get cranking.  Broiling is a good use of a toaster oven for the small space and faster heating. 

Slightly crispy, broiled tomatoes

Once you have soft tomatoes, carefully remove them one half at a time into a bowl and chop them up with a spoon and knife to break the chunks and skin into bit-sized pieces.  The texture is chunky, so if you like a smoother soup, use an immersion blender or regular blender/food processor to reach your desired consistency.  The tomatoes themselves supply all the liquid you need for the soup--be careful not to overflow your bowl!

Add salt and freshly ground black pepper plus any spices you desire and taste to find the right proportions.  Enjoy your tomato soup hot or chilled--it's delicious!  

This is a terrific carbohydrate for your meal (2 tomatoes is a Zone block) or an easy first course to a dinner.  You can easily make this a complete meal with the addition of some protein and fat.  For example, add some shredded chicken to the bowl and then have some berries and coconut milk (see my recipe: Berry Bowl) for dessert.  Yum!

Cut Carbs to Cure Diabetes

  Diabetes  

OMG.  I just read an amazing article and have to share (thank you CrossFit Fire of the Gods for the link!).  Before we jump in, let me get a CrossFit word in and express what an awesome time I had at the Coaches Prep this past weekend.  Meeting such amazing coaches (like Paul who writes the CrossFit Fire of the Gods blog) and working with HQ's finest really was an experience I'll never forget.  There is nothing like immersion in something you love.  CrossFit and nutrition are my passions.  So on to the latter:

Men's Health: The Cure for Diabetes

Important snippets:

"My first line of treatment is to have patients remove carbohydrates from their diets," explains Dr. Vernon, a petite, energetic mother of two who also serves as the president of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians. "This is often all it takes to reverse their symptoms, so that they no longer require medication."

and

"Which do you think people would find more practical?" asks Dr. Vernon. "Avoiding bread and sugar, or taking an insulin shot every day?" Before you answer, consider that the ADA, America's leading authority on diabetes, refuses even to pose this question to millions of diabetes sufferers, leaving them unaware that there may actually be an alternative to leading a medicated life.

"You might prefer to just take the insulin, and that's your choice," says Dr. Vernon. "But in my experience, patients are far healthier and happier without it." She pauses for a moment. "And isn't that the whole point?"

The simplicity is astounding: just cut starchy, sugary carbohydrates from your diet and CURE Type-2 Diabetes (what used to be known as "adult onset diabetes" but which now impacts children and adults alike).  NO insulin injections needed ever again?  Wow!  My own inner voice tells me to caution this one-size-fits-all approach, but the data is out there and, seriously, isn't it worth the try?

So for those of us who aren't diabetic, what can we get from this news?  Proactively, cut these carbohydrates to avoid ever developing diabetes.  If you could eliminate this threat to your health, a threat that attacks 23.6 million children and adults in the United States—7.8% of the population (back in 2007, and more today) why wouldn't you?

What are sugary, starchy carbohydrates?  Well, ALL sugars (yes, even those with deemed "healthy" or "natural" because they come from plants or bees) and grains and potatoes, which are starchy.  Good rule of thumb: stick to veggies primarily and limit high glycemic fruits (mostly tropical fruits) and high glycemic veggies (root veggies like beets, carrots, and sweet potatoes).  NOTE: this isn't a "no carb" approach.  Eat as many veggies as you want!  Seriously!  They have minimal carbohydrate that is going to elevate your blood sugar and also contain fiber, which is great for digestion and slowing down metabolism of carbohydrate into blood sugar.  The common misconception of "low carb" is "no carb," which by the size of my salads, kale chips by the pile, and cauliflower to fill my plate--I can attest is definitely NOT "no carb."

Why does cutting carbs help diabetics? 

Okay, more specifics on diabetes.  According to the article:

So what exactly is diabetes? In freshman-biology terms, it's a disease of the hormone insulin. Secreted by your pancreas, insulin moves glucose -- the form of sugar your body uses for energy -- from your bloodstream into your cells. Problems arise, however, when, often due to excessive weight gain, your cells start to become resistant to the effects of insulin. (It knocks, no one answers.) As a result, more insulin is required to dispose of the same amount of glucose. (The knock becomes a loud banging.) This condition, called insulin resistance, is the first stage of type-2 diabetes.

As insulin resistance worsens over time, your pancreas has to pump out enormous amounts of insulin to force glucose into your cells. (Hey, let's use a sledgehammer!) Eventually, your pancreas has trouble keeping up, leaving you with chronic high blood sugar, a.k.a. hyperglycemia -- the defining marker of diabetes and the root cause of the calamities that arise from it. Alas, it only gets worse from here: If the resistance continues to mount, some of the insulin-producing beta cells inside your pancreas can "burn out" and stop working altogether. (In type-1 diabetes, an autoimmune disorder destroys most or all of the beta cells.) Once beta cells burn out, you're looking at a lifetime of daily insulin injections.

So Type-2 diabetics, you are in luck.  There is a cure.  What about Type-1 diabetics?  Here is Robb Wolf's take after a comment from a recovering Type-1 diabetic who switched to paleo and is now off insulin:

It is well understood that Type 1 Diabetes is a failure of the beta cells of the pancreas to produce insulin. This is generally acknowledged to be the result of an autoimmune response, usually attributed to a viral infection or some kind of trauma. What is less known is the role of grain lectins in this process. Many people benefit not only from reducing the recommended American Diabetes Association 60% carb diet (higher even than the diet that causes most of the type 2 diabetes we see) because of a more fat fueled metabolism but also, occasionally, we  see a return of normal pancreatic function with the removal of the neo-lithic foods. The inflammation and immune response that has been beating down the beta cells cease, some repair occurs and things come back to normal. This is not the norm unfortunately, but it does happen. Even without the full return of pancreatic function, the reduced carb, higher fat paleo diet greatly mitigates the accelerated aging and systemic inflammation inherent in both type 1 and type 2 diabetes.

Need another case study of similar results?  Here's a post of a mom updating Robb on her child recovering from Type-1 Diabetes and some of his conclusions:

This REVERSAL of a life-threatening autoimmune disease is being mediated by a focus on food quality (paleo).

For the folks for whom the paleo diet does not reverse their condition (due likely to the complete destruction of ALL pancreatic beta cells) it does confer the BEST blood sugar control and best insulin management strategy of anything they have tried. This is likely due to the effects grains have on insulin signaling via leptin.

The same mechanisms which underlie the reversal of Type 1 diabetes underlie ALL autoimmune disease. In the case of these other autoimmune conditions however, we do not see the confounding issue of pancreatic dysfunction. If we can just get folks to try a paleo diet for about a month they typically see a remarkable improvement in symptoms.

Why haven't we heard this before?

If cutting carbs (particularly ubiquitous grains) is such a viable solution for diabetics, why isn't it being promoted by the American Diabetes Association and the medical community?  Well, the Men's Health article tackles some reasons which I'll let you read, but here is my take:

The world is working against this simple solution because it challenges the dominant paradigm and attacks the very foundation of our agriculture-based society.  Medical and nutrition authorities like the USDA, American Heart Association, American Diabetes Association, and many others as well as Big Pharma and the agriculture lobby all oppose simple solutions that threaten their industry and control.  Grains provide the basis for our economy (try to find me an ingredient list or product made without a derivative of corn, just try).  Multi-million dollar pharmaceuticals provide the easiest solution: just pop a cure-all pill, albeit with horrifying side-effects, dependency, expense, and environmental impact.  It is a twisted web without our best interests in mind.  Read The Omnivores Dilemma for an enlightening experience about how deep we are entrenched in a cycle based on money, not health.  It is truly sad.

The real kicker: even that Mens Health article is from 2006 (I couldn't find the article date, but I saw a blog reviewing it from November 2006).  Four years ago.  What has changed?

YOU can make a difference!

Okay, back to the light.  YOU can use food to nourish, not harm.  Regardless of how hard it may seem, YOU can change.  And seriously, it isn't that hard.  Fighting fires is hard.  Life without a limb is hard.  Dealing with death is hard.  Living without bread, rice, and pasta is peanuts, or should I say almonds ;)  You can be happy and healthy eating very well paleo-style, as my recipes and those of the greater community can attest.  There really is more you can have than can't.  I will continue to provide supportive material and all of those bloggers and websites I recommend can help you too.  If you have a question, ask!  Bigger picture: Isn't a healthy, long life worth the effort?

Now YOU know what YOU can do to help you get healthy and stay healthy.  Knowledge is power, so what are YOU going to do about it?

Get Real

Okay, let's get real.  I am human just like you.  I didn't cook that chicken; I bought it.  I feasted upon New York Style pizza last weekend and ate half a pepperoni and bacon pie myself.  And I enjoyed every delicious, cheesy, bready moment of it.  I also am addicted to chocolate.  I stray from paleo-eating at least once a weekend to varying degrees--a mocha here, corn chips there, creamy raw cheese when I can get it...  I buy at least a few no-cook meals a week at the grocery store.  I am human.  Does this make me a bad person or someone unfit to write a paleo blog?  I don't think so.  Life is a journey and by sharing my travels, I hope to give you ideas and recipes to take with you on your journey :)

So let's take a step back and get real about living paleo-style, which incorporates Paleo, Primal, and Zone eating ideas as well as physical (and mental) activity, like CrossFit.  I'll go into more specifics about paleo-style as I slowly make my way through the Starter Series, but for now, let's take a detour to clear up some questions and get real.

Is paleo-eating livable?  


Yes.  It is possible to nourish your body by feeding it what it needs.  Meat and veggies, nuts and seeds, and fruit are available everywhere in some form or another.  However, it is unrealistic to think the whole world can change or that paleo-eating is even possible for everyone.  YOU can make the healthiest choices for you and your family.  That much is possible.  I never said it was easy, though.  

Additionally, just because paleo-eating is livable doesn't mean I live that way each and every day.   For sanity's sake, I indulge.  I cheat.  It reminds me of why I don't live my life like I used to because I feel so crappy afterwards.  I fall asleep from my carb hangover and wake up bleary-eyed, puffy, and nauseous.  If I can't sleep within a few hours of eating, I am cranky and tired for the rest of the day.  I feel like I am set back inside myself, looking out through diaphanous curtains.  There is zero clarity and energy.  I am also either full enough to explode or hungry within a couple hours.  Usually both.  When Hungry Again hits, I get "snacky" and have to keep chomping on something, anything.  Sometimes it is hard to stop once I've started.  And if you've ever cheated or read any other paleo blogger, you know these results ARE typical.  I am not alone.  The saddest thing is that I used to live this way 24-7 before I changed my diet, and MOST people are still living this way day in and day out.  So you ask me why I get passionate about food?  I want to help those still living in their carb comas.  

Does paleo-eating work?  


Yes.  I believe this or I wouldn't dedicate my time and effort into making it work for my family and passing on important resources to the community.  There is a wealth of medical information showing how grains and sugar wreck havoc on your digestion and metabolism, leading to all sorts of fun side-effects like disease and death.   This isn't fringe science.  The facts are out there if you are willing to look.  Bogged down by the science?  Use N=1 to see what happens when YOU make the change.  Do you feel better?  Perform better?  Look better?  Give it time and you'll see positive changes.  Cheat and you'll experience the side-effects.  Why would you want to go back to that life?

Is paleo-eating easy?  


No.  It gets easier, but it is never easy to give up what 99% of the world eats.  It is a test of your willpower, resourcefulness, and financial situation to make it work.  But I believe it can be done by anyone.  The real question is: Is potentially living a longer, healthier life worth the effort of changing your diet and getting more active?  To me, it is.  I say you aren't giving up as much as you are gaining.

Does paleo-eating change your life?  


Yes.  You'll see positive benefits to your health if you maintain dietary diversity amongst meat, veggies, nuts, seeds, and fruit and get your fish oil and vitamin D.  You need protein, fat, and carbohydrate.  It will take some tweaking to see what works best for your body, but this is fine tuning in the bigger picture of revolutionizing your diet.  You WILL see results.  But I'm no doctor, so think for yourself.

You will also never be able to see food through innocent eyes ever again.  Try shopping at regular supermarkets and reading labels.  Look around at those shopping blindly around you, especially overweight families.  It is depressing.  You can never go back.

But you are not alone.  Paleo-eating can help you build friendships and lasting bonds with those sharing your worldview.  There are many of us in cyberspace and at your local CrossFit box.

However, also be prepared that eating so divergent from the rest of the world WILL alienate you from them.  Accept this as a reality.  It's not worth the effort and stress to try to convert everyone.  Trust me, you'll lose more than sleep if you get too personally invested.  When I get frustrated, I think of what happened in the Shawshank Redemption when the main character called the warden "obtuse."  It didn't go over well.  While the rest of the world may seem "obtuse" at times (like what the hell is HFCS doing in FRUIT juice?!?), I try to take a deep breath and remind myself how much paleo-fanaticism parallels religious fanaticism.  We both feel like we have something so profound and life-changing to share and want everyone else to join us in this revelation.  We both believe we are saving lives.  Doesn't that sound a little creepy and intrusive?  Zealotry is zealotry, even with the best of intentions.  Instead of preaching, lead by example and chat about your diet when it's brought up by others.  If they are open to change, they will find you for help.  This is a lesson I am still learning myself.

Is paleo-eating worth it?

For me, YES.  For you?

But I am busy.  What if I don't have the time to cook my meals?


Then don't.  There are other options.  Most people from the outside looking in think changing your diet takes a ton of planning and cooking, both of which are in high demand in our busy lives.  I can understand the intimidation.  I know I should be cooking bulk meals on the weekends, and then Sunday afternoon rolls around and I would rather be enjoying myself than cooking.  Weeknights come up suddenly with no food in the house and absolutely zero gumption to cook.  I know.  I have been there.  But I can still make paleo work.  Here is how:

1.  Grocery store meal shopping.
2.  Having a few go-to restaurants for paleo-friendly dining.  (we'll tackle this one in another post coming soon!)


Today, I am NOT going to give you a recipe.  Recipes are all good and well for those with the time and inclination to cook.  What about the rest of us who don't have time or energy at the end of a long day to go through the effort of cooking?  Can we still eat paleo-style?  Yes!

Shopping For Your Meal

It's as easy as hitting the local supermarket on the way to work, at lunch, or home from work.  Since they are almost everywhere and have great hours, they make a great meal option.  Just put together some meat, veggies, fruit, and fats from the lists provided below to feed yourself and the whole family with little or no prep.  Again, this is "in a pinch" eating, not ideal paleo, but it'll help you get by when you don't want to cheat but feel out of options.

There is actually a WIDE variety of foods you can eat in the supermarket.  Seriously!  But you need to read labels and know what to avoid*:

• sugar in all its devious forms (play it safe and avoid any sweetener and unpronounceable ingredients) 
• grains (also devious since many food additives are made from them, like the citric acid from corn that is in almost everything!)
• soy (you have never challenged your sanity until you've tried finding chocolate without soy lecithin)
• legumes (peanuts too)
• dairy (assuming you're taking that road)
• vegetable oils (like canola, sunflower, safflower, corn, soybean, and "vegetable" oil)

*Exception: Remember to be human.  Don't sacrifice your sanity for your diet.  You are trying to make paleo work, so if you really freakin' NEED your chips and the only ones available are made with canola oil, then don't start crying.  Be a paleo rebel and buy your chips.  Don't beat yourself up over every deviation from ideal paleo.  What is "ideal paleo" anyway?  Few of us can only eat seasonal, local, unprocessed, organic foods.  The rest of us are just trying to feed our bodies healthy fuel while keeping our sanity.  Make the best choices as much as possible and you'll get the results you seek.  Also, know the hierarchy of what makes you feel bad.  Personally, gluten and grain-fed dairy impact me the worst.  Listen to your own body.  Make compromises you won't regret.

Here are paleo or paleo-friendly foods you can find at the grocery store:

No-cook Meats:

• Rotisserie chicken
• Prepared meats in the Hot Foods section as long as they come as close as possible to paleo-style (remember grain and sugar are everywhere, if unsure, ask about the ingredients)
• Hard-boiled eggs
• Lox and canned/bagged cooked/smoked fish (check ingredients for hidden sugars and try to stick close to the Seafood Watch Guide and wild-caught fish)
• Deli meats (not ideal, but hey, better than most fast food frankenmeat.  Look for whole roasted chicken/turkey breast or roast beef made at the store.)
• Jerky (most supermarket jerky is highly processed and filled with salt and sugar, and even soy and wheat depending upon seasonings.  For real jerky, seek out a meat market or make it yourself.)

Very Little Cooking Required Meats:

• Eggs (heck, you can even microwave them)
• Fish (a fast, toaster-oven-while-you-get-changed meal)
• Steak (searing only takes a hot pan or grill and less than 15min start to eating)
• Pre-cooked sausages (check ingredient lists closely!)
• Bacon and cured meats (I haven't found a sugar-free bacon yet, but I still indulge every once and awhile.  When I do, I try to buy organic, avoid nitrate-containing products, and minimize ingredient lists and sugar.)
• Broth (check ingredients and sodium closely)--a great starter to a quick soup you can microwave, just add in cooked meat and grilled/roasted veggies from the prepared foods area--or you can boil it, turn off the heat just as you add a fine drizzle of lightly beaten eggs, and stir gently in one direction to make your own Egg Drop Soup--freakin' delicious!
• Pre-seasoned meats and fish can save some time, but 99% of those I have ever looked at contained grain, soy, or sugar, so I don't even bother looking anymore

Veggies:

• Salad greens (serve as a salad or eat unadorned like romaine hearts, which I rinse and snack on like chips)
• Carrots (although processed, "baby" ones are ready to eat and conveniently sized)
• Prepared cut raw veggies (or cut celery, carrots, peppers, cucumbers, etc. yourself in little time)--think you need dip, try nut butter instead!
• Prepared Hot Foods veggies (just, again, check the ingredients)--grilled and roasted veggies are usually good options
• Salsa (check ingredients)
• Tomato sauce (check its ingredient list carefully, you may have to compromise on the citric acid, but don't on the added sugar)
• Canned artichokes, hearts of palm, tapenades (technically fats) can all work if you check their ingredients closely
• Kelp noodles (these can make a hot or cold salad really fast with the addition of some meat, other veggies, and flavorings.  You can also make my Noodle Nosh with pre-cooked meat for a really fast meal.)
• Sweet potatoes can be baked in the microwave and are delicious with some butter or coconut oil slathered on after.  These are best for a recovery meal after high intensity exercise since they are so energy dense and high glycemic.  
• Frozen sweet potato fries are okay, but they usually take way too long to cook and often include sugar, wheat, and soy.  Not really a quick, go-to meal.  You can cook shredded hash browns quicker, in the pan, but browning takes forever and potatoes aren't ideal since they are so high glycemic.  If you really crave them, go for it, though!  There is worse you could do for your body than eat a potato...
• Sweet Potato, Beet, Cassava, Plantain, or Potato chips made with non-vegetable oil like olive oil or avocado oil (avoid canola, sunflower, or safflower oils)--definitely NOT ideal or for every day, but heck, once in a while live a little without straying too far from paleo ideals

Fruit:

• Raw choices like apples, peaches, pears, plums, berries, mango, banana, etc.  (note: try to stay as low glycemic as possible so that they are more filling and less sugary, unless you are recovering from a bout of metabolic activity).  Microwave sliced fruit for a warm alternative (add some Ceylon cinnamon for spice!)
• Lemon juice is great to use for salad dressing (along with a fat, see below) or add to water (especially sparkling mineral water for a delicious soda-replacement--no sugar necessary!)
• Dried fruit if you are in a pinch (remember it's very sugary, and check ingredients to avoid those with added sugar and sulfites)
• Kombucha (You know I don't like fruit juice very much, but the probiotics overbalance the little juice in there, promoting healthy digestion)
• Coconut water (weird that the coconut flesh is a fat, but the liquid is almost all carb with a lot of potassium and good electrolyte replenishment)
• Applesauce if unsweetened 
• Frozen fruit can easily be microwaved to defrost and heat if desired.  Add some cinnamon and you have a meal!  

Fats:

• Nuts (watch the ingredients in seasoned nuts since sugar, soy, and wheat are often used; also avoid peanuts--a legume)
• Seeds (ditto)
• Nut butter (remember peanuts are legumes, so stick with almond butter, cashew butter, decadent macadamia nut butter, and the rare find of coconut butter)
• Avocados
• Coconut oil (extra virgin, unrefined)--yes, you can eat this from the jar!
• Guacamole (check ingredients)
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil (drizzle it on!)
• Nut Oils (like walnut, hazelnut, almond, etc.  great on salads!)
• Animal fats like butter, ghee, lard, pork fat, bacon (who are we kidding, it's more fat than protein), etc. for quick cooking meals like eggs

Examples of Grocery Store Meals:

• Breakfast: hard-boiled eggs, fruit, and nuts

• Lunch: boxed salad greens, lemon for dressing, handful of nuts or avocado, Hot Foods meat or deli meat or smoked fish (don't forget a fork!  lemon juice stings when you eat with your hands!)

• Dinner: rotisserie chicken, romaine hearts, guacamole, and salsa for quick chicken tacos

Easy!  And don't worry.  We've all been there.  Eat mindfully and try to stay paleo-style as much as possible to reap the rewards.  And the rewards truly speak for themselves.  You aren't giving up as much as you are gaining.  Trust me.

Sweet Salad

UPDATE 1/13/10:  This salad is just as good without the figs!  I love the lemon-walnut oil dressing.  So simple, so good!  Give it a try!

Okay, I am off the crack.  I have been sugar free for over a week (minus whatever sugary sauce is on unagi and Japanese salad during my sushi cheat meal).  It has been hard.  I saw a great comparison of sugar to heroin--both come from a plant (sugar cane or beet/poppy), both are refined (molasses/opium), refined again (brown sugar/morphine), and a final time into pure, white crystals (white sugar/heroin).  They both have seriously addictive properties and alter your body--mentally and physically.  Seems extreme, but it isn't a bad comparison.  I have been cranky and craving sugar really badly.  So bad I even cried about it as my mind filled with "why me's" and tried to break me down.  But I have resisted.  I still have my fruit, but I am cutting back.  Today's fig salad was last week's indulgence and since I can't rule out its contribution to my tiredness and headaches by late afternoon (probably related to my sugar detox), I can't indulge on dried fruit as often.  It is candy, unfortunately.  Delicious, natural, healthy and even-better-than-sugar candy, but to my body it is candy nonetheless.

I definitely recommend this DELICIOUS salad.  It has helped curb my sugar appetite and has been a good segue food back into the lower glycemic living that is where I want to be.  Give it a try when you are craving a sweet salad with a lemony kick!

But first, let's talk ingredients: figs, walnuts, and lemons.  When I first laid my eyes upon figs, they scared me.  Outwardly they reminded me of pears, but butterfly when cut into gummy-looking flowers.  Exactly how do you eat them?  On my quest to boldly expand my culinary horizons, I bought dried figs. They looked safe.  Lovingly prepared by a motherly Turkish woman on the label and all tightly packed into a pretty disk-shape.  Safe.  At first nibble, I was sold.  When dried, they have such a sweetness, just like sugar, but with taste!  Reminded me of the fig newtons my grandfather always broke out when we came to visit as children.  I remember being slightly miffed that he didn't keep chocolate chips and oreos on hand for his grandchildren (what was he thinking?), but the "grown-up" fig newton cookies were pretty damn good.  I loved to eat the filling out of the cookie or eat the cookie without touching the filling.  Oh the games...  At least I was enjoying my food.  Too bad they were nowhere near healthy, "grown-up" or not...

Figs are my sugary treat when I am forgoing sugar (even honey and agave, they count as sugar too).  Figs are relatively high on the glycemic index (61) and glycemic load scales (16) (see my upcoming post for more details about those--I know, I know, I keep saying that, but I swear it is coming!  It is hard to whittle down such a huge topic to present it here).  Numbers over 50 for the glycemic index and over 10 for the load are considered high.  But that is to be expected when you dry a fruit to its sugary state.  The paleo diet doesn't recommend dried fruits for their candy-like nature, but when weaning off the sugar, to me at least, they are an acceptable crutch, in moderation (which I really have to remember!).  Figs are high in potassium, antioxidants, and fiber.  They have been studied in correlation with reduced bone density loss, and high fiber fruits such as figs have been correlated with reduced risk of breast cancer.  For more details on the health benefits of figs, check out this site.   When choosing dried varieties, try to avoid those containing sulfites, a chemical preservative to which some people are highly sensitive, especially those with asthma.  Go organic to make sure there aren't any sulfites used.  Some people also have an adverse reaction to oxalates found in some foods, including figs.  Oxalates are natural molecules in some fruits, nuts, and seeds that can form crystals with calcium and potentially harm the kidney and gallbladder.  The conditions requiring restriction of oxalate-containing foods are rare, as is overconsumption of oxalates.  Interestingly, oxalates usually move through the gut and are metabolized by your gut flora without incident.  However, when there are absorption issues from a damaged digestive tract, undigested oxalate can move out of the digestive tract and into the bloodstream, thus creating some problems when it crystalizes and gets lodged in tight places.  What is one cause of digestive tract damage leading to a "leaky gut"?  I will give you one guess.  More on oxalate issues here and at the low oxalate diet website.

Back to our ingredients.  Where were we?  Ah, yes, walnuts.  Walnuts pair superbly with figs.  They are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which account for their anti-inflammatory benefits, cardiovascular protection, and cognitive boost.  Walnuts contain antioxidants that inhibit cancer growth and promote immune function.  For more on the health benefits of walnuts, check out this site.  The Paleo Diet book by Loren Cordain advices us to eat walnuts because they are rich in monounsaturated fats which lower cholesterol, risk of heart disease, and risk of cancer.  They are also rich in polyunsaturated fats that also lower cholesterol.  Cordain recommends walnut oil second only to flaxseed oil* (and mustard seed oil, which is a hard to find oil in the US).  He promotes a balance of omega 6 and omega 3 fatty acids, trying to achieve a ratio of between 2-3 to 1.  Omega 6 is unhealthy in excess and accounts for too high a portion of our dietary omegas, coming from highly-concentrated sources like cereal grains, grain-fed meat, and vegetable oils.  Even on the paleo diet it is always a push-pull to keep omega 6 fatty acids low.  They are in nuts, seeds, avocadoes, and even lean, grassfed meat.  However, omega 3 is very beneficial as discussed above with its recovery boost and protective benefits.  So we are always trying to counterbalance the omega 6 in our diet by consuming more omega 3 in the form of fish oil, fatty fish, and nuts.  In general nuts have too high a ratio of omega 6 to omega 3, but walnuts are a good choice with a closer to ideal ratio of 4.2.  Read more about fatty acids and nuts on the paleo diet website.  Bottom line: walnuts are one of the best nuts to eat!

Finally, lemons.  Lemons are interesting when looking into acid-base balance, an important component of the paleo diet.  While they (and other citrus fruits) seem acidic, the body treats them as a base.  Why is this important?  Ideally, we want to balance the acids and bases in our diet because if we don't, the body has to compensate and pull what it needs from the body to balance it out.  Osteoporosis is a leaching of calcium, a base, from the bones.  Many of our foods are acids and only fruit and veggies are bases.   To quote Loren Cordain, paleo diet founder:

Bone health is substantially dependent on dietary acid/base balance.  All foods upon digestion ultimately must report to the kidney as either acid or base.  When the diet yields a net acid load (such as low-carb fad diets that restrict consumption of fruits and vegetables), the acid must be buffered by the alkaline stores of base in the body.  Calcium salts in the bones represent the largest store of alkaline base in the body and are depleted and eliminated in the urine when the diet produces a net acid load.  The highest acid-producing foods are hard cheeses, cereal grains, salted foods, meats, and legumes, whereas the only alkaline, base-producing foods are fruits and vegetables.  Because the average American diet is overloaded with grains, cheeses, salted processed foods, and fatty meats at the expense of fruits and vegetables, it produces a net acid load and promotes bone demineralization.  By replacing hard cheeses, cereal grains, and processed foods with plenty of green vegetables and fruits, the body comes back into acid/base balance which brings us also back into calcium balance.  The goal is to avoid a net acid load on your kidneys.

and

In addition to promoting bone demineralization, a net acid-producing diet also contributes to the following maladies and illnesses: calcium kidney stones, age-related muscle wasting, hypertension, stroke, asthma and exercise-induced asthma.

To read more from this article and check out the ratings of different foods, look here.  The bottom line: we are trying to load up on fruits and veggies to counterbalance the acidic load of meat and salt in our paleo diet.  When life gives you lemons, make salad dressing!

* Flaxseed oil intake is a topic under much debate.  Check out Mark's Daily Apple for some introductory information on the issues.  I will try to put together a post on the findings in the future!

Fig Salad with Lemon-Walnut Dressing
Crunchy greens and a sweet and tart dressing make this an elegant salad!


Prep time: less than 15 minutes

Ingredients:
1 lemon
walnut oil
dried figs to taste (I buy the light skinned dried fig rounds from Turkey--they are superior to the mission figs I have tried, to me anyway)
greens of your choice  (I am partial to peppery baby arugula, which takes this salad to a whole 'nother level)

Method:
This is crazy simple: just plop your greens in a bowl (the more the better).  Tear up the dried figs into small pieces (say 4-8 per dried fig) and add to the bowl.  In another bowl or sealable container to store leftover dressing for another use, squeeze the lemon juice and add at least 1T of walnut oil.  Mix or swirl to incorporate.  Taste it and add more walnut oil as desired to balance the lemon's acidity.  Once you are happy, drizzle your dressing over your greens, as much as you feel necessary for equal coating and taste.  Toss to mix.  Finally, devour your tasty, sweet salad!

Serving Suggestions:
Since I always have meat when I have carbs (something I took from the Zone), I usually add meat to my salad, such as rotisserie chicken.  DELICIOUS!

Figs

Chips are back on the menu!

Yes, I have been a bit too into putting the old reliables back into my diet in a paleo way.  In one day I made three paleo pumpkin pies and muffins and don't even like pumpkin pie!  I tried to make a pecan fig tart over and over without success and have some good bar cookies and freezer bars (they don't stay together at room temperature) for our munching, but nothing really shines yet as THE recipe to submit to the world.  Still working, tinkering...  Since I have a husband trying to stay on the zone and am trying to preserve my own sanity, my baking is going to be more limited in the future.  Baking within paleo and fruit sugar source restrictions is difficult to say the least.  There have been many delicious failures...

Today, I would like to promote veggies.  Plain and simple.  I have made two awesomely delicious veggie chips that I have to share.

Being a skeptic with any recipe that says it can replicate chips (yes, I have tried baked apple chips and they DID NOT warrant the name of chips; they were more like chewy apple jerky), you can imagine how thrilled I was to find I can make crispy chips out of my own oven!  Using nutritious non-tuber veggies!  Without frying!  And I can make them easily all by myself!  How awesome is that?!  Now you can too!


Kale Creations


I already spouted about how nutritious kale is in Kale Salad.  For example, it is labeled as a superfood for being so nutritious, so check it out.  One caveat: cooking veggies leads to some nutrient loss, so keep that in mind.  On the other hand, heat breaks cell walls making many nutrients more bioavailable to us during digestion.  So the take away message: eat your veggies both raw and cooked!

Kale Chippies (yes, you have to say it in your squeaky, high-pitched GIR voice)
Basically, I tried this recipe I found at Girl Gone Primal and just converted the oven temperature to Fahrenheit and added my go-to spice: garlic powder!  Never underestimate the power of garlic to take something good to the next level of deliciousness!


Cooking Time: Start to finish, less than a half an hour!

ingredients:
1 bunch of kale per diner (I used dinosaur kale because it has such great texture--like dinosaur skin!)
olive oil
salt
black pepper
garlic powder
any other spices your heart desires

Preheat your oven to 355.  Meanwhile, wash the crap out of your kale (unfortunately, farmers market kale is often teaming with life, so wash thoroughly!).  Tear the kale leaves off the thick part of the stalk in big chunks.  There is some shrinkage in the oven, so don't make them too small or they'll shrivel up and burn.  Discard the thick stalks (I have to find a recipe using them, I feel bad throwing them away!).  Dry your kale in a salad spinner or with paper towels.  Dinosaur kale is pretty awesome in that it repels water, so there isn't much water to wick away after washing.  Now, put your kale on a sheet pan or pans (preferably lined with Silpat, parchment, or foil) so that they aren't overly crowded (ideally one layer).  I was living on the edge and neglected to line my sheet pan or use two pans for two bunches of kale--such a rebel!--but since the other recipes mention these preventative measures, I should too even though mine was successful and without excessive cleanup.  Next, drizzle on the olive oil (don't glug, but try to get enough on there to coat once you toss it--remember fat is GOOD) and then sprinkle on the salt, pepper, garlic powder, and any other spices you desire.  Toss the leaves around with your hands to coat everybody equally.  Now, whack 'er in the oven for 10 minutes and check.  Remove to a plate any browned ones or firm ones that are chips.  Yes, they are actually chips!  Leave in any floppy, moist ones for another 5 minutes in the oven.  Repeat until all of your kale has magically transformed into CHIPS!

Crunch away on one of the most awesome and nutritious chips out there!

Eggplant?  Seriously?

Alton Brown from the epicly nerdlicious Food Network show Good Eats helped inspire this eggplant application.  His brilliant pressing strategy lets the eggplant soak in taste rather than become a mushy mess.  Eggplant is delicious and nutritious, so don't shy away from this purple peculiarity.

Eggplant is a nightshade (NOTE: I will discuss at more length in a future post), which means it isn't the best if you are avoiding inflammation and is not quite tasty if you are a cat indulging upon human dinner left out on the counter momentarily unattended (yes, she threw up--but no, it didn't deter her from another counter scavenger hunt later that night, damn cat).  Nutrition wise, eggplant has a good amount of fiber, potassium, manganese, and B vitamins.  It is filled with antioxidants that provide a protective role in our bodies from damaging oxidative reactions.  One such phytonutrient antioxidant in eggplant protects the lipids in our brain cell membranes.  Another one in high quantity is chlorogenic acid which has been found to have anti-cancer, antiviral, anti-microbial, and anti-LDL cholesterol functions.  Bottom line: surprise, surprise, veggies are good for you!

Here is a great method of preparation which serves as a stepping stone to other inventive culinary creations!

Eggplant Chippies
Eggplant takes a little more preparation than kale, but there is a delicious reward for your diligence.  


Time Required: at least 2 hours of pressing, then it is fast and done in 15 minutes.  You can also prepare the eggplant ahead of time and use them for dinner that night--especially if you can give those babies a flip and change their towels half way through the day.  

ingredients:
one regular-sized eggplant per diner
salt
olive oil

Slice the eggplant into half inch thick...slices (I hate repeating myself) and lay one layer on sheet pans lined with pet hair-free tea towels or doubled paper towels.  Sprinkle with salt (don't coat).  Then, top with a tea towel or another doubled paper towel sheet.  Place another sheet pan on top and weigh it down using whatever you have handy that is heavy (i.e. cast iron pans, cans, your cat).  Let them press for 1 hour.  Afterwards, come back and replace the now damp towels, flip the eggplant, sprinkle with salt, and replace the heavies for more pressing.  Repeat as many times as desired/you have the patience for.  Once ready to cook, rinse the eggplant to get off the salt (don't worry, there is still some inside, but not too much, hence the "don't coat" warning above--believe me, I have been there).  Dry with paper towels/pet hair-free tea towels and lay in one layer on the bare sheet pan (use two pans if you can't fit them all).  Don't line the sheet pan this time because we are headed for the broiler and lining can't take the heat, baby.  Drizzle olive oil on your eggplant and you're going to have to be a little liberal since those suckers are sponges.  Turn your broiler on to Low and place the sheet pan on the highest rack.  Prop the door open at its broiler location (why is that again? perhaps for morons like me who like to close the door and forgetaboutit to the point of burnage?).  Check in five minutes for browning, and if you have it, flip.  If not, wait til you do.  Once both sides are browned, you are done!  Salt or spice to taste.

Serving Suggestions:

Neapolitan with Meat Sauce: One incredibly tasty way to serve these is as little Neapolitans with Basic Meat Sauce.  Just assemble your little Leaning Tower and create a tasty moat surrounding with the excess (mine was not suitable for pictures--even the sauce in my pic looks more bloody than tomatoey, unfortunately).   NOTE: this serving style will lose the crispiness of the eggplant, but their roasted sweetness really hits the meat sauce out of the park!

Dunkin' Style: You can avoid the mushiness of the first application if you serve the chips on the side of the meat sauce and use them to dip, as my husband did during our feast.  Yes, my husband is brilliant, but mine was more architecturally pleasing ;)

Neapolitan with Roasted Portobellos, Roasted Red Peppers, Pesto, Fresh Basil, and Fresh Mozzarella (sorry, I am off the cheese for awhile, so no pics of this one): When I used to indulge more on cheese, I replicated a layered deli item from Whole Foods.  After paying over $10 for this tasty dish, I decided to make it myself instead.  Just broil the eggplant using my recipe, broil portobellos the same way (no need to salt and press them first, just follow the broiling method after drizzling in olive oil and sprinkling with salt), then create a tasty stack of layered mushroom slathered in pesto, topped with roasted red pepper (roast yourself or buy in the jar, but check to make sure it is paleo--no citric acid, soy, wheat, or grain products allowed!), topped with fresh basil, topped with eggplant, and finally topped with fresh mozzarella cheese.  Broil or microwave the Neapolitan to melt the cheese before serving/gorging upon.  Um, yum!

Other suggestions:
The sky is the limit.  You have a great base for many flavors and applications.  For instance, try them as Eggplant Parmesan if you eat cheese or want to indulge.  I bet they would be damn tasty sprinkled with parmesan before broiling!  You can also just snack on them as chips.  I know I have, and I didn't feel once ounce of guilt!

Kale Chips
Easy and Addictive Eggplant "Chips"

Simply Cauliflower

Cauliflower is great as rice, but those annoying tiny bits get EVERYWHERE.  It seems like just cutting a head of cauliflower in half spells more cleanup than it is worth for a busy night.  So here is another preparation that requires very little prep and just some time in the oven for the cauliflower to caramelize into golden deliciousness.

Don't be a Gaseous Mass

But first, a word about gas.  You heard me: burps, farts, and general flatulence.  Unpleasant?  Yes, it is.  Cauliflower is a vegetable of the cruciferous variety (including brussel sprouts, cabbage, and broccoli) that is highly associated with intestinal gas.  Why?  Each of us has gut bacteria that sit in our intestines and colon and feast upon the foods we eat.  Undigested portions of our food create a great meal for these bacteria, who release hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane gas as their own digestive by-products.  The parts of food that are indigestible to us include some sugars [lactose (dairy sugar), fructose (fruit-sugar), sorbitol (a sugar substitute), and raffinose (the indigestible sugar in cauliflower)] and starches, which are a component of fiber (indigestible starches are usually polysaccharides, which means long chains of sugars like fructose or another common one is cellulose, a component of all plant cells).  Cellulose itself isn't enough to cause excessive gas since the bacteria feast upon it very slowly, but combined with indigestible sugars and starches, it can create unpleasantness.  Besides cruciferous vegetables, foods with these gassy reactions include beans (which we avoid for their lectins); grains and other starches (which we also avoid for a slew of reasons); onions, artichokes, and pears for their fructose;  carbonated beverages (duh); many fruits for their soluble fiber that creates a gel only broken down in the intestines; and dairy [which we also avoid since it is highly concentrated grain (what most cows eat)].

Other bacteria in the intestines actually utilize the gas these bacteria produce, so the system is in balance.  However, when you eat foods that overwhelm this system, bloating and flatulence is the outcome.  How much gas is too much?  People differ in the amount of gas-producing bacteria and how gassy those bacteria are.  We all have our own unique digestive flora, like alien worlds within us.  Some people have less efficient digestive tracts, so more food makes it down into the intestines and colon (for example, those that eat grains and have already put their digestive systems in crisis mode).  Celiacs (those with gluten intolerance) and those who are lactose intolerant (can't eat dairy) fall into this category.  Finally, those little gassy bacteria can overrun the place and get out of hand.  Usually they reside only in the colon, but overpopulation can lead to expansion into the small intestine.  There is more food in the small intestine being broken down and absorbed, so more bacterial feasting can occur.  

What can we do about it?

Well, some sites say to avoid cruciferous vegetables entirely--which knocks out broccoli, brussel sprouts, and cabbage.  To forgo a whole category of vegetable is crazy, especially since they are so tasty and nutritious!  Naysayers, I fart in your general direction.

Others sites suggest less extreme remedies.  Here are some that don't include regular supplementation or drugs:

1. Exercise more.  Exercise gets your body moving so that gas can pass through your system easier and not get holed up inside, creating bloating.  What exercise do I recommend?  CROSSFIT!!!! (Note: try the main site if you aren't in Santa Cruz).  Find a gym and workout regularly.  The proof is in the results. 
2. Eat a carminative, an herb or preparation to fight intestinal problems by either reducing gas formation or aiding its expulsion.  Carminatives include: anise seeds, basil, nutmeg, peppermint, ginger, caraway seeds, cardamon seeds, cinnamon, coriander, dill, cumin, fennel, marjoram, onion, oregano, rosemary, saffron, spearmint, and thyme.  Examples include: 
1. Drinking peppermint tea.  Peppermint is a carminative that relaxes intestinal muscles to help ease the passing of gas.  
2. Eating ginger soaked in lemon juice after a meal.  Ginger and lemon juice are also carminatives.  You can suck on a piece of ginger soaked in lemon juice or grate it into hot water and add lemon juice. 
3. Chewing fennel or anise seeds after a meal.  Same deal with these: carminatives.  You can also crush them and make them into tea. 
4. Drinking water spiked with lemon juice, another carminative, with meals.  
3. Drink water.  Some recommend lukewarm water with lime juice and honey in the morning on an empty stomach as a remedy. 
4. Eat foods containing probiotics such as fermented foods.  Probiotics might aid in the elimination of gas.  Probiotics are usually bacteria or yeasts similar to healthy gut bacteria that you need to digest food.  They can aid digestion by contributing reinforcements to your own bacteria.  Check back for more on them in another post, since they are a big can of worms.      
5. Avoid high fat quantity with gas producing foods since fat slows digestion and can lead to gas build-up in the stomach.  Remember, balanced meals are best, so always eat some fat, just don't go overboard when eating foods that make you gassy.  
6. Use an over the counter remedy such as Bean-o.  Bean-o contains a plant-derrived enzyme that breaks down raffinose (the indigestible sugar in cauliflower) before it enters the colon.  
7. Try to buildup your tolerance to gas-producing foods if you have a little every day.  

Main Sources:
Medicine Net

Web MD

Okay, now that everyone is feeling a little intestinal discomfort, on to our recipe which might give you a chance to try out this new knowledge!

Simple Roasted Cauliflower

What is better than caramelized, GB and D (golden brown and delicious) cauliflower?  Takes awhile, but well worth the wait and simplicity!

Zone Blocks: 4 cups of cauliflower is one block of carbohydrate.  

1 head of cauliflower per diner

garlic powder

salt

olive oil

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.  Wash the cauliflower head and cut in half (I know a little mess, but not nearly as much as with the rice!).  You might want to trim off the leaves since those aren't as tasty even when roasted.  Place head halves on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper (I totally destroyed a sheet pan when I didn't use it, so you are hereby warned) and sprinkle with olive oil.  Toss to coat all sides and parchment.  Then, dust liberally with garlic powder (the smell of this roasting will fill the house with garlicky goodness!) and sprinkle on some salt.  Whack it in the oven for about 30 minutes and check for browning (could take up to an hour).  If you don't have it yet or feel like chancing the carbon gods and going for a darker shade of brown at the cusp of burning, be my guest.  If you have acceptable brownage, flip and let 'er go another half an hour or so until you see similar browning on this side.  Once you are happy with your caramelized cauliflower, enjoy the feast--and go ahead, eat as much as want!

Serving Suggestions:

This makes an excellent side dish for any meat.  Try to avoid going overly fatty in the other foods you are serving with cauliflower to help prevent our friend flatulence.

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

(a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail in case you mistakenly thought I was being rude :) )

Cauliflower